Swear Bears 24 Days Advent Calendar
$63.95
Trade polite holiday sentiment for 24 days of unfiltered adult comedy with the Swear Bears 24 Days Advent Calendar, packing 24 brightly colored parody bear ornaments with blunt belly-badge slogans and gold hanging cords inside an evergreen collector box.
Premium materials, safe packaging, and flawless finish tailored for you.
Polite holiday greeting cards rarely survive the first week of December office traffic. The Swear Bears 24 Days Advent Calendar flips childhood nostalgia upside down by pairing bright, candy-colored teddy bears in festive headgear with uncensored, deadpan belly badges. Framed inside a deep pine-green rigid paperboard box accented with golden bells and red holly berries, the subtitle across the cover sets the ground rules immediately: 24 Days of Bad Attitude.
Bright neon and pastel bear coats meet blunt uppercase belly slogans-built strictly for grown-up holiday trees, office desks, and White Elephant gift swaps.
Each of the 24 daily compartments reveals a miniature 3D-style bear dressed for the season while sporting a distinctly un-festive mood. One morning delivers a tangerine-orange bear in a Santa hat and pine-needle collar clutching a whipped-cream cocoa mug above a "HOT MESS" belly badge. Another compartment introduces a royal-purple bear wearing cat-eye sunglasses and a crimson ear bow labeled "SASSY AS FUCK", alongside a turquoise "DRAMA QUEEN" bear and a mint-green bear holding one finger to its lips.
From White Elephant Exchanges to Late-December Desk Decor
The comedy lands because the visual execution commits to classic holiday details. A lemon-yellow bear in a red-and-green striped scarf holds a wrapped present while wishing the room a "MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS". Nearby, a rainbow-ombre bear in a pointed elf cap waves among stars and candy canes above a "FUCKING MAGICAL" emblem, while a cobalt-blue bear in a winter beanie shrugs above "ZERO FUCKS GIVEN" and a hot-pink bear adjusts its golden crown.
Every figure comes fitted with a top metal loop and gold cord so you can hang all 24 bears across Christmas tree branches, hook them onto wine bottle gift bags, or stand them upright along a home-office monitor shelf. Wrap the rigid paperboard collector box for your next adult-only Secret Santa party or keep it on your own mantel to laugh your way through December 24.
| Format | 24-day countdown advent calendar with individually numbered daily boxes |
|---|---|
| Construction | Rigid paperboard exterior with custom full-wrap print |
| Contents | 24 miniature adult-humor parody bear ornaments with belly badge slogans and gold hanging loops |
| Occasion | Christmas countdown, holiday gifting, and festive home decoration |
-
1
Handcrafted to Order
5 - 7 Business Days
-
2
Insured US Priority
5 - 8 Business Days
-
3
Delivered to Hearth
10 - 15 Business Days
Full transit protection on all orders. Contact support within 30 days of delivery for replacement or refund on damaged items.
Is the Swear Bears 24 Days Advent Calendar intended for adults only?
Yes. The 24 miniature bear ornaments feature uncensored adult language and sarcastic slogans printed directly on their circular belly badges, making this calendar strictly an adult gag gift.
Can the Swear Bears figurines hang on a Christmas tree?
Yes, each of the 24 miniature bears includes a top metal ring and attached gold cord for hanging on Christmas tree branches, while their flat feet also allow them to stand on desks, shelves, and mantels.
What kinds of slogans and accessories appear on the bears?
The lineup features brightly colored bears wearing Santa hats, elf caps, reindeer antlers, gold crowns, sunglasses, and winter scarves paired with belly badges such as 'Hot Mess,' 'Drama Queen,' 'Zero Fucks Given,' 'Fucking Magical,' and 'Merry Fucking Christmas.'
How is the outer calendar packaged for gifting?
The 24 daily compartments are housed inside a rigid paperboard collector box finished with a full-wrap evergreen holiday print titled 'Swear Bears: 24 Days of Bad Attitude Advent Calendar 2026.'
Related products
